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Many people living with eating and body troubles eventually discover that the behaviors were never truly about food. Whether through GLP-1 medications, abstinence, or temporary periods of control, once the behavior quiets, the underlying emotional pain becomes far more visible. These patterns function as maladaptive coping strategies—ways to manage distress, numb overwhelming emotions, or create a sense of control when life feels unmanageable.
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As the behaviors stop, individuals often experience increased vulnerability, emotional dysregulation, and unresolved trauma surfacing to awareness. For many, this clarity can feel destabilizing; the absence of the old coping mechanism reveals deeper needs for somatic healing, secure attachment, emotional maturity, and spiritual grounding. The common thread is not a lack of willpower, but the absence of deeper healing--an inability to access the peace of emotional regulation, self-compassion, and meaning.
Modern behavioral health frameworks—including psychology, social work, trauma-informed practice, and emotional intelligence research—affirm what spiritual traditions and the 12-Step model have taught for decades:
Sustainable change requires an internal shift.
Once a person stops acting out with their substance or behavior of choice, the unresolved emotional, relational, and spiritual wounds rise to the surface. What emerges is not a failure of abstinence—it is an invitation to develop emotional sobriety, emotional maturity, and an awakened relationship with oneself and with God (as each person understands their own version of God).
Grounded in the Big Book Awakening (BBA) method, this program integrates:
- Evidence-informed behavioral concepts
- Trauma-aware principles
- Emotional intelligence and self-reflection skills
- Higher-power–centered spiritual development
- The peer-based, experiential wisdom of the 12 Steps
Join the mailing list for the next workshop at https://bbafood.com or https://wholeinoursoul.weebly.com/
Episodes
Friday Apr 06, 2018
Friday Apr 06, 2018
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves
page 64-65 in the Big Book
In our step-work this week we review Col. one and two, discussing a few ways to gain clarity in column two so we can get to the root of our resentment. We don’t tell the whole story of our resentment in column two. Our story of the resentment will come out plainly in column three. Keeping it simple, we sum up our resentment with a target statement of just a few words describing the resentment and place that in column two. . Then we move on to completing the first four parts of column three.
As I approach column three, I keep in mind my extended third step which I read each day for a week to my step partner. This can be found on page 25 of the Idiots Guide. Keeping in mind that I am like an actor who wants to run the whole show playing director, producer and all of the rules cast in the play of my life, I ask myself...where I can see how I've been "running the show" (step 3)? and describe...
How I see me/my role or how i need other people to see me
how I think people need to behave in my play
what roles I think people need to act out in my play in order for me to be okay, safe or happy in this world.
See the bottom of page 64 in the Big Book for the 7 areas of 'self' referenced here (in this assignment we do only the first 3).
We looked at the first 4 areas of 'self' in the 3rd column: Note: The FEAR is often the opposite of the role you and others play, but not always. Try that opposite fear on first then go from there. Limit the fears to 3 per section. So we complete column 3 in the areas below:
Self Esteem: How I see or feel about myself. The role I've assigned myself:
Ex. I am the best spouse s/he could have. (Fear: bad spouse/not enough/too much)
Pride: This is how I think you and others should feel about me. The role I've assigned others. Ex. Others should see that I'm a capable person. (Fear: incapable)
Ambition: What I want to happen here. Start the sentence with "I want..."
Ex. I want my spouse to do more around the house (Fear: overburdened/ overeat)
Security: What I need here to be okay. Start sentence with "I need...to be ok" Ex. I need to be respected to be okay (Fear: disrespected )
When you are finished call your step partner and discuss your experience of completing this assignment. You are welcome to share individual third columns if you wish but you were not required. It is OK to have a simple accountability call to make sure you are staying on task for your work, and to talk about your experience of doing the work.
Remember, you can always hear live examples of other members in various big book awakening workshops completing this third column on the general San Diego BBA website
http://www.bbaworks.com/workshopsaudio/
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